Why We Need Change

“Without change…there would be no butterflies” ~ Author Unknown

Many years ago, I stumbled upon this quote and began using it as my life mantra.  I also became enamored with butterflies and decided that this beautifully amazing creature would become a symbol to remind me that life’s changes were to be seen and experienced with both wonder and awe.

Change has always been quite easy for me. As a child, I experienced changes when I moved from Austin to Houston, then Florida and back to Houston. Visiting Bogota, Colombia with my siblings in the summers was also a big change from living in Texas and I would say the biggest change for me occurred at the age of 5 when my parents separated.

All of these changes set the stage for what I consider to be my life-long wanderlust.

See for me, change is everything. It’s one of the few things I know I can count on and when it does happen, I am faced with transformation both externally and internally (with resistance at times) and then,  I turn a new leaf.

Change is what makes us experience new things so that we are stretched outside of our comfort zone. Through change we learn more about ourselves, we discover things unknown, we grow, and we evolve.

Without change, life would get stagnant and we would be stunted. 

How could we know what our highest potential is, if we never tried something new?

If things always remained the same, how would we ever find out about all of the wonderful things that life has to offer- both scenically and relationally?

Through changes in our lives, we see new places, we hold new jobs, we learn new skills, we meet new people, and we love new people.

The next time you find yourself being resistant to change either because life has sprung it on you or because your gut is telling you that it’s time, think of the butterfly. Imagine the life cycle of the butterfly and all that it has to go through to turn into something delicate, magnificent, and free. 

From Yoga to Yoda

My new love interest has a tattoo of Yoda on his big, muscular, sexy arm. Before meeting him, I would have to say that my old (and continued) love interest was practicing Vinyasa yoga. There is something euphoric about being on my mat, in a heated room, moving my body and disciplining my mind to become one with my breath.

I’ve never been much of a science fiction aficionado. To be honest, I never really understood what Star Wars and its characters were all about so seeing Yoda more often sparked a curiosity to know more. The description I got of him immediately made me connect Yoda with yoga.

Yoda is the Grand Master of the Jedi order. He is among the oldest and most powerful known Jedi Masters in the Star Wars universe. A Jedi Master is one who has attained mastery of the Force and acts as a keeper of peace and justice in the galaxy. Jedis make up a spiritual academic organization which studies, serves, and uses the mystical power of Force in order to help and protect those in need. These guardians of peace are led by Yoda, who teaches them the importance of practicing patience and strength.

In the real world, at least in my own reality, I view my yoga instructors kind of like Yodas and us yogis as the Jedis. During a yoga class, a good teacher will instruct students to move into different yoga poses while simultaneously sharing words of wisdom and truth about patience, strength, awareness, release, and most importantly the practice of focusing on breath, which I consider to be the mastery of Force. Breath (Force) being our gift from God that reminds us that we are living and helps us to slow down, be present, and connect with ourselves and our surroundings.

I believe that all of us have the potential to become a Yoda. Remember Yoda is known as the most powerful Jedi Master because of his mastery of the Force, his peace, and justice keeping.  The way I see it, we could all work towards living in this way. All it takes is learning to master our own breath to serve us in calming ways, choosing to be at peace with ourselves and others, accepting things as they are and feeling gratitude, and keeping justice by treating others the way that we want to be treated. These sound so simple when I write them down, however, I know firsthand that they are definitely not always easy to put into practice. Life on earth is much more different than the Star Wars galaxy, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t all strive to be guardians of peace- Yodas.

Who knows, maybe the next time you think of or see Yoda, you might be inspired to practice yoga. Even if you decide not to do yoga, perhaps you can begin with simply connecting with your breath to experience life in the here and now, give thanks, and show kindness to someone else around you.  

Compassion

Sometimes, what we want or think we need from somebody else, is precisely what we need from our own self.

Compassion is to be concerned for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. When I think of compassion, I imagine someone being warm and gentle with me, someone who is showing genuine concern and care for how I feel. To be compassionate is to be tender.

How often do you show compassion to yourself?

What do you tell yourself during times of struggle?

What kinds of things do you say to yourself in those quiet moments when it is just you with you?

When we say or allow our thoughts to go to places such as: “If he/she doesn’t want to be with me, why would anyone else want me?” or  “Nobody knows what I’m going through” or “Why is everyone else happy, but me?” or “I’m not good enough” or “I am unlovable”, it is almost as though we are abandoning ourselves during a time when we most need to be patient, gentle, and understanding.

We do not notice the kind of relationship we have with ourselves because of all the distractions that surround us on a daily basis. This disconnect disrupts our peace of mind and in exchange we experience feelings of fear, anger, sadness, shame, guilt, depression, anxiety or being stuck.

If you ever feel as though you are your own worst enemy by being self-critical or saying self-defeating things to yourself, learning to have self-compassion can be transformational for you and the way you live. From self-loathing to self-loving, you begin to treat yourself the way you would treat a friend or a child. 

Here are five ways to practice self-compassion so that you can begin a new relationship with yourself that will in turn affect all other relationships in your life:

1. Think and say positive things to yourself- even if you don’t believe them at first, fake it until you make it. The simple act of saying loving and kind things will begin to change your mind and your heart.
2. See the real you- try to visualize yourself as an innocent child who now lives in a grown up person’s body. This child was born with basic goodness and meant to love and be loved by you and by others.
3. Believe in yourself- know that you are perfect just the way that you are. Even if you are not at your best, try to live authentically and believe that you can accomplish ANYTHING that you set your heart, mind, and spirit towards.
4. Soothe yourself- do whatever it is that makes you feel calm and happy. This could be a long walk, exercising, yoga, sleeping, watching your favorite movie, and of course taking long and deep breaths.
5. Be your own best friend- be there for yourself by showing acts of love and kindness. Put your hand on your heart and tell yourself “it’s okay, I’m here for you” or put your hand gently on the top of your head, close your eyes and imagine you are being loved by the most important person you know or wrap your arms around you and give yourself a big hug. 

To Be Mindful...Matters

Ever wonder what all the talk about mindfulness is about?

The simplest way to explain mindfulness is that you live with awareness. The definition of aware is having knowledge or perception of a situation or fact. For me, to be aware means that you stop and take notice of the present moment as many times as you allow yourself to, during the rushing and tugging of your day to day life.

To be mindful, means using your mind to get in touch and connect with all of your five senses at any point in time with the intention of experiencing a moment with complete and full presence. 

 See…Hear…Touch…Smell…Taste. Seems so simple, but for most people these things go unnoticed because they are such a basic part of being alive that we take them for granted.

During my counseling groups, I encourage the practice of gratitude by asking clients to keep a gratitude journal as a way to train their brain to focus and take notice of things that they appreciate. Sometimes I’ll begin the group by saying “Okay, let’s all find 3 things to be grateful for besides our eyes, ears, and legs”. I usually get a few chuckles because let’s be honest, when was the last time you woke up giving thanks for being able to see, hear, and walk?

 A Buddhist center down the street from where I live offers all kinds of meditation classes, retreats, and workshops on practicing mindfulness. One of the first times, I heard and learned about what it meant to be mindful was after a meditation sitting where everyone in the room was handed a tangerine. I would like to share this experience and walk you through a simple mindfulness exercise that you can practice just about anywhere and apply to just about anything you do on a daily basis:

 1. Touch- Hold the tangerine in your hand and take notice of how it feels. Is it cold, warm or at room temperature? What does its skin feel like? Is it soft, hard or squishy?

2. Smell- Bring the tangerine up to your nose with eyes and mouth closed and simply smell. What does it smell it like? Is it a strong citrus scent? Where does this scent take you? Does it remind you of anything?

3. Touch- Begin to slowly peel the tangerine watching how each piece of the skin begins to unpeel. Can you peel to make one long piece? Do you prefer to peel off small pieces one by one? Does the peel look like anything? Maybe a flower or something abstract?

4. Taste-Take each slice of tangerine, one by one, and place it in your mouth. Close your eyes and begin to chew. Take notice of how it feels on your tongue. Is it juicy? Is it sweet or sour? Are you enjoying this experience?

5. Smell- The tangerine has been eaten and the delicious smell is still on your hands. Smell them and feel gratitude for the delicious fruit you just savored.

This exercise of connecting your mind to all of your senses allows for greater connection of mind, body, and spirit. Now you know what it means to be mindful and why it matters. Go ahead, try it with your favorite fruit.

Daily GEMS

Life is not always smooth sailing. Part of living means accepting the fact that change is going to happen whether we like it or not, and sometimes having to go through difficult times. I like the many ways life is often described to somehow help us understand that everyone experiences problems and that we are not alone in our struggles.

Here are a few: 

• “Play the cards you are dealt”

• “Life is a long and winding road”

• “What goes around, comes around”

• “Life is like a river. Sometimes it runs smooth and slow past beautiful trees and landscapes and other times, it is raging and rushing”

• “The only thing certain in life is death and taxes”

• “When one door closes, another one opens”

Because life can be so uncertain, it is important to ground yourself through daily rituals that help you feel stable and centered so that you can handle anything that comes your way with more confidence and ease. Throughout the years, I have explored many ways to ground down and feel more rooted in who I am and how I respond to what life throws at me. Recently, I attended a workshop at Wanderlust Yoga and ironically, the rituals I have been practicing for years, were described as GEMS.

G- Gratitude- I wake up each day feeling gratitude for my health and a new day of life. I begin by saying affirmations to myself in the present such as: “I am grateful”, “I am abundant”, “I am love”, “I am trusting”, “I am enough”. Before going to sleep, I end my day with prayer by giving thanks for all the things that occurred whether good or bad, reminding myself to trust that all happened as it should have.

E- Exercise- My sister once told me many years ago that exercise was just as important as brushing your teeth. She asked me, “Would you go a day without brushing your teeth?” and this simple question changed my entire perspective on exercise and why we need it. Moving and sweating is the way we clean our body of toxins so that we have more energy, feel good, and look good.

M- Meditation- Sitting still in silence creates a space for ourselves like no other. I view meditation as the union of me with my higher self and the channel to get there is through connecting with breath. When I am one with my breath, I am able to shift to a place where “the me is looking in” and observing all of the thoughts that run through my mind as though they are waves in the ocean that come and go. The beauty of these waves is that I don’t have to ride them or run from them, I simply just observe with curiosity and openness to what they are saying. Some of my most creative moments are during these 10 to 15 minutes of my day. 

S- Supplements- Unfortunately, the foods we eat on a daily basis do not have all of the nutrients we need because many of the nutrients are lost when food is cooked or because it is not grown organically. It’s important to take vitamins and/or drink vegetable juices that help to supplement our diets. If you are not a big fan of taking vitamins, consider buying yourself a juicer and start your day with a vegetable juice packed with the nutrients needed for energy and a healthy looking glow.  Who knows, you may even be able to kick a caffeine habit to the curb once for all.

Try to start incorporating GEMS into your daily life and see what happens. 

Why Breathing Can Be Your Best Friend

Even though my breath is something that has been a part of me since conception, it took me a very long time to discover its magic and meaning in my life. As a child, no one pulls you aside to explain why breathing is such an important part of our existence and the calming effects it can have on your whole self.

As a school counselor who works with children, I created a sign for my office and hung it up on the wall which read “Smell the flower, Blow out the candle, Breathe in and out”. I used this as a way to teach children how/why to breathe and as a reminder for myself to take deep breaths during times of high stress brought on by seeing many tears and listening to children and parents’ issues.

I began practicing yoga in 2001 as a way to work out and alleviate stress. The heated vinyasa class reeled me in with its vigorous and athletic flow. What I liked most was that the heat in the room forced you to breathe and stay connected with breath while moving and sweating out all of the toxins of the body and blocking out the jibber jabber of the mind. I became a certified vinyasa yoga instructor in 2012 after having been practicing the discipline of meditation regularly since 2010. In adopting these two things as an essential part of my health and well-being, I found that both yoga and meditation provided me with an amazing sense of peace that felt like a safe haven ultimately existing only within my own self.

The common denominator in both of these practices was the focus on the breath. This is what led me to the conclusion that my breath is and always will be my best friend.

Five reasons why breathing can be your best friend too:

1.     Breathing is the only thing that gets me out of my head and more into my body so that I am able to really acknowledge, feel, and connect with my emotions.

2.     Breathing reminds me to stop being ‘nowhere’ and be ‘now here’. When I focus on my breath, I am not able to think about anything else, but the present moment. The more present I am, the more awareness I have.

3.     Breathing helps me to practice mindfulness. I can take notice of things more clearly, appreciate all that’s around me, and center myself when I need to.

4.     Breathing reminds me that I am never alone. Taking deep breaths during times of stress, fear, doubt or anxiety is one thing that forces me to stop the thoughts that are causing discomfort or pain and take notice that everything is okay in that exact moment just as it is.

5.     Breathing reminds me that being alive is a gift. That having negative thoughts and uncomfortable feelings about where I am, serves no purpose. It is a constant reminder to feel gratitude for the higher power that created and gifted me with all I really need to be happy in life- a beautiful mind, body, and spirit. I am grateful to my breath for helping me remember to experience each moment in the present because that is exactly what each moment of our life is- a present. 

The Life of a Tree

Trees make me happy. This particular tree above is one I fell in love with many years ago during my frequent drives between Austin and Houston on Highway 71.  Serving as a mark to know where I am in relation to each city, no matter what season of the year, leaves or no leaves, this tree always looks beautiful to me.

My admiration for trees started long before I discovered this one in particular and through the years, I’ve reflected on why I think trees are amazing. Since trees are the tallest, longest-living organisms ever to grow on earth, it seems as though they may have a thing or two to teach us about life.

Think about how these may relate to your own self.  Here are a few I have come up with:

• United We Stand- Trees in a forest that are close to one another become more tall, massive plants as they grow in groups, connecting by way of their roots and sharing sunlight.

• Ground Yourself- The solitary tree stands alone in one spot for its entire existence. It nurtures itself by growing roots deep into the ground to take in nutrients from the soil and use what it needs to grow, develop, and repair.

• Trust your Natural Protective System- Trees have grown in ways that give them super survival powers since they cannot move away from potential destructive conditions.

• Grow Your Roots to Stay Alive- The root system of a tree is vitally important to its continued survival. Roots help to anchor the tree into the soil, they store large amounts of energy reserves below the ground, and the roots absorb and transport the water and dissolved mineral nutrients to the rest of the tree. 

• Give What You Can- Trees are very important to our existence as they provide us with what they have to give. From them we get the most essential part of living by producing oxygen so that we have clean air to breathe. They also provide us with wood for shelter and warmth along with a nice shade on a hot sunny day.

The next time you walk by a tree show it some gratitude by simply stopping for a moment to admire it, maybe water it if it hasn’t rained in a long time, or just give it a hug. 

Root&Connect is born...

The beginnings of Root&Connect came to life in my mind many years ago. In part, I acknowledge my father for being the person to first introduce me to a holistic approach of health by taking into account the mind, body, and spirit; the whole person. He was a psychiatrist in Austin, Texas when I was born and 3 to 4 years later, he decided to leave psychiatry to go down an almost completely different path to practice alternative medicine. Many people today might think of this as any kind of alternative healing modality such as nutrition, herbs, vitamins, preventative medicine, homeopathy, acupuncture, massage therapy or yoga therapy.

I remember him always saying that the difference between alternative medicine and conventional medicine was that one worked to find the root of the problem and heal from the inside out, while the later was used more as a band aid for the physical symptoms, without taking into account all parts of the person and how one might be affecting another. Alternative means one of two or more available possibilities. Conventional means to be in accordance with what is generally done or believed.

This is not to say that I am against conventional medicine. There are times when it is absolutely necessary to be used in emergency situations when a person is experiencing an enormous amount of pain or they have been diagnosed with a chronic illness or a terminal illness. My father would remind me that alternative medicine was not going to be a quick fix, but that when the root of the problem was discovered and treated, the body would naturally begin the healing process to stop the physical pain or discomfort.

I have carried this concept with me through the years and believe it to be the path to feeling mentally well just as much as it is for feeling physically well. What I learned about health at an early age, I now try to apply in my work as a psychotherapist or counselor (if you are more comfortable with that term). Recently, it dawned on me that in a sense, what I did was fall right smack in the middle of my father’s footsteps to work in integrating mental health with alternative (mindful) practices that nurture the whole person.

Root&Connect flourished from my vision of wanting to help people learn about how all of our parts are connected and how they affect one another. These parts being MIND, BODY, SPIRIT, and our EMOTIONS. Once we are able to fully connect with our whole self, we begin to feel good, and more grounded in the relationship with ourselves so that we can grow relationships with those close to us and in our COMMUNITY.

Through talk therapy with mindfulness practices, I am dedicating myself to guiding others in discovering their own unique way to nurture their mind, body, spirit, and emotions by learning how to connect with them and listen to what they need.

For me, this is the way to feeling optimal wellness.

I am a firm believer that what we give, we get back. That giving of our time, attention, and care to our own self is just as important as what we give to others. Connecting with and nurturing each and every part of us, changes our perspective on things and enhances our ability to shift internally to know ourselves, love ourselves, feel good, be fulfilled and truly live with purpose.

 Welcome to Root&Connect, are you ready to get grounded and feel good?