Believe and You Will Receive

The latter part of 2014 brought about some trials and tribulations that I wasn't expecting. From the experiences I was forced to endure, I learned yet again that life happens, things rarely go the way we planned them to, and that true character is defined by how you deal with what comes your way and how you pick yourself back up.

My father came to spend the last few days of 2014 with me and we celebrated Christmas together. He is a very religious man who lives by faith. As long as I can remember, he has suggested that I do two things to help me get through this life: pray and meditate. His December visit influenced me to turn to something higher than myself for the reassurance and peace that I was so desperately seeking. For me, this force of energy that I so strongly believe in is called God.

I started out 2015 with a different mindset. Now, I was beginning to understand that I did not have to go through the trials and tribulations alone because I believe that there is something greater that is here to assist us whenever we need it to. Rather than feed the pain, I choose to feed the breath (the moment to moment of what is).

When we believe that something will happen, we begin to manifest it. Even better, when we expect for something to happen, we are setting energy in motion to make our desire come to fruition. The trick to believing is allowing yourself to connect and feel your heart's desire, to envision the desire, and to truly feel as though what you want, already exists.

To believe is to trust and once there is absolute trust, you are able to let go and live by faith. The power of the soul (heart) and mind can either serve you or hurt you. When you find it difficult to believe, notice if what you are feeding into is your pain caused by fear, insecurity, or doubt. Observe what begins to happen in your life once you are able to loosen the reins of those discomforting emotions and just believe.

From my own personal experience, I can say that the more I believe, the more I receive and things just happen because I trust that they will. A good friend of mine once said something very wise. She said, “even when things aren't going my way, I realize that they ARE going my way.” This is what I call living by faith.

In the picture below is my new bicycle that I desired and envisioned long before coming to Maui. I believed that once here, I would be able to find a bike for a low price to help me get around. The day I arrived, my friend said his roommate was selling his bike with flat tires for $50. I took it to the bike shop for a tune up and ended up spending $125 total. The guy at the bike shop said the bike was worth $500 originally and that if I wanted to sell it, I could get $250 to 300 for it. This is just a silly, yet simple example of how when you believe, you WILL receive.

Yogalchemy...Keeping Yoga Weird and Healing from the Inside Out

Dear Root&Connect Readers,

This is by far my longest blog post and first interview that I am dedicating to one of the best yoga teachers I have practiced with in Austin, TX thus far. Meet Erika Kluthe, otherwise known as the woman who is Keeping Yoga Weird in Austin with her uniquely heart-filled style of yoga called Yogalchemy. She is one of a kind and her mission is to create a sensory and emotional experience that will change you from the inside out. Her yoga class taps into my inner bliss and leaves me feeling the 9 C's: calm, curious, courageous, clarity, creative, confident, centered, connected, and compassion.  I share this with you in hopes to awaken your curiosity to expereince the 9 C's for yourself as well.

What Erika calls Yogalchemy, I think of as mindfulness yoga which uses the body, the breath, and the five senses to move you, soothe you, and heal you.

To see for yourself what a class with Erika might be like, visit her at Sukha, Dharma or Practice Yoga.

What inspired you to become a Yogi?

I was a lone, long-distance runner from about age 15-30 or so. It was my head,heart, and body medicine until one day,  it stopped working. I was desperate for some mental and emotional relief from the overwhelming, acute, long-term pain I was experiencing (the cause(s): a story of its own for another day). The regular practice of yoga helped pull me out of tremendous depths of pain when nothing else was working.

A ha Yoga moment...

I had just moved to Austin from the Hill Country which was home for two years, and prior to that, South Florida. When I moved to Austin, I was recovering from a string of very difficult and painful years, and I was at what felt like my most painful point (I felt like I was cloaked in a suffocating darkness for 9 months straight).  A dear friend invited me to a yoga studio and so I went begrudgingly. One yoga class and suddenly a little crack happened, it was like light and air came in. Nothing else had worked. I needed relief badly so I went back the next day. I've struggled for years with anxiety and depression. I was in the worst space of my life and running was no longer helping in the same way. I no longer felt emotional release from running, but instead it came from practicing yoga. I told my friend, “I'm going to do this everyday. I'm fully in.” My word meant very little at that time so my friend just said “Ok Erika.”

The teachers were positive and heart-filled. I just needed to feel safe. The yoga studio became the only place that felt safe in the entire city. The teachers would ask how my day was going. They would help me correct my poses by making adjustments which was the only time in what seemed like a while, I felt warmed by the human touch. I was so badly in need of the healing touch that yoga provided. Each day I would set my mat in the far corner of the room (for what turned into a couple of years) of me bald-headed, bloated, angry, and very sad as I cried my way back in to life through the practice of yoga.

I believe that yoga is a powerful medicine. It has the potential to be a modern day shamanism in the west. We are healing, and in doing so we are elevating the collective consciousness.

When I came across the advertisement for a teacher training whose completion date was on the day of my 33rd birthday, I saw that as a sign and decided to apply. At 28, a particularly helpful therapist got me out of one my most difficult spots. She said, "If you continue to live this way you will die by age 33, Erika." I thought, wouldn't that be an awesome celebration of renewed life to graduate as a yoga teacher on this particular birthday.
 

The path to Yogalchemy...

I wanted to offer a full sensory experience as my personal offering. Ana Forest created her own style of yoga called Forest yoga. It's her own personal offering and in reading her biography, I discovered I needed to create, from within, one that speaks to my own truth.

My desire is for people to have an experience. Like going to a movie. I think that one reason people like going to the movies is because they are transported into a different experience. You emerge into a space where you are able to laugh, cry, habitual thinking is shut off to rest, and we get out of this linear, rational screaming brain. I thought, let's give people another option for an experience that they can be a part of where they're moving, as though now they can be the character in the movie, and involved in the sensory and emotional experience that's personal. An experience that is their story and true to their heart.

Yogalchemy is primal. Indigenous cultures do this stuff and we've moved away from it. There's a deep wisdom in these actions that I think we are moving back to. I called it a heart based decision when I decided to do the teacher training and close to my heart was the information I learned about the chakras so I decided I would teach myself more about it in order to teach it. The chakras gave me a starting point from which to build.

During a fall semester in graduate school, many years back, I read a book called Dime Store Alchemy and that Halloween I dressed up as a wild poet alchemist. I carried a long kitchen spoon as a stand-in wand (so as to turn people’s dross into gold, of course, ahem). Fast forward to just a few months ago after teaching a class,  a fellow yogi approached me to say that she had really enjoyed the whole experience because of how it incorporated the use of all the senses during the practice. She called it Mindfulness Yoga and then referred to me as a Yoga Magician. I replied to her, “No, I’m a Yoga Alchemist!”

I desire to bring ceremony (the sacred) into a modern context and normalize it. I say let’s normalize because really it’s all in service to healing and expansion. I want people to know that there is an energy in all things, and that that energy is a loving one. Among many of the texts I consult regularly is Eastern body, Western Mind by Anodea Judith which has been an important guide for me. I research, study, and explore a broad spectrum of resources from acclaimed neuroscientists and anthropologists to Shamans, other spiritual healers, and world-renowned spiritual teachers.

What makes up Yogalchemy and its Sensory Experience...

Chakras- Each chakra has given characteristics. A color, a location in the body, a natural element associated with it, and psychological and informational vortex of energy. I collect knowledge and meditate regularly. When I drop into meditative states of consciousness, I feel divinely inspired and begin to visualize how the yoga class is going to come together from start to finish. Since I've learned to quiet my mind, it feels as though stones (ideas) are laid out to guide me. It used to take me hours and I would exhaust myself trying to create these classes. Now meditation, along with a fuller body of knowledge, allows me to intuitively create the layout of the class with tremendous ease and joy.

Combining the chakras with poems- I look for a poem that speaks to the chakra. I choose poetry that is largely sensory-driven. Poetry that attempts to encourage in the reader an ecstatic state. My poems have colorful, gooey, scratching words to create an auditory experience that the reader could run their hands through in an attempt to create a sensory mosaic of sorts. In a way I feel as if this is now what I am attempting to achieve in my yoga classes through the use of different mediums.

See- the colored candles are set up for people to have a center of focus, blind folding that encourages pratyahara- withdraw of the external senses to encourage an inward inquiry, dharana- single pointed focus with eyes closed to still the mind with visualizations.

Hear- vissudha is the throat chakra, the color associated with this energetic center is light bright blue and the natural element to which it is associated is sound waves. Music used- digeridoo, shamanic rhythmic drumming, Tibetan singing bowl music. The sound waves are vibrating at the same frequency so they connect and match with the body's energetic wave length creating an energetic effect in a specific part of the body. Affirmations repeated such as “I am safe” and “I have everything I need.”

Taste- bringing food to taste after the class- mint, red apples, oranges, sparkling water. The poetry also helps to create this sensory experience.

Touch- the practice of placing hands on people to offer an intuitive, loving touch. The cool river stones that have a specific color of a chakra. I encourage for stones to be held or put on a specific chakra to draw awareness to that part of the body. Shakti mat- a modern day bed of nails for people to step on. Washing of hands in epsom salt and sage to energetically cleanse.

Smell- Essential oils sprays, rubbing and smelling soil, salt or beach sand to ingnite the sense of touch and smell to experience an energetic transfer.

I suggest an off the mat yoga assignment each week to help people continue the yoga practice in daily life. Alchemy is the precursor of chemistry. It's a science of transformation. Yogalchemy is personal transformation from the inside out. I want to share with people tools of how to take in the energy and information through the use of the 5 senses to balance their energetic body (most specifically the 7 main chakras), to still the mind, and regulate the central nervous system in order to return to a natural, essential state of well-being, joy, and bliss.

I believe that despite external conditions, we can feel this way (as good as we want to feel) all of the time. We simply have to train and practice remembering who we are at our essence. Yogalchemy is the practice of releasing all resistant energy. Resistant energy is anything that detracts us from our natural state. Our natural state is one of feeling whole, joyful, blissful, and calm. To be human is a miracle. We can feel bliss naturally when we discover that we, at our essence are bliss.

More on Energy and Why it IS Everything...

Very simply put, everything is made up of energy. Energy is in the form of waves (think of a whip snapping, or ocean waves rolling). Energy collects in different patterns or forms of varying densities (fine like a breeze, or sound, or heavier like water or a human body). When we become quiet and still our minds, we can tune into the subtleties (the lesser dense forms of energy).

Once we become aware (conscious) of these subtler forms, we may also discover that we have the capacity to move, change or alter our own energy (energetic field). One simple way to do this: Where you move your awareness, you move your energy.

Place your full attention or awareness on a negative or painful thought or memory. The emotional sensation that inevitably follows is energy focused in a certain way, at a given point or location (heart, gut, shooting down the arms). Imagine something or someone you love deeply. Or remember a very fond or fun memory. Energy has now shifted and is vibrating at a higher frequency than when the thought was a painful one. Thought is an actual form of energy, slightly less dense than air, sound, and light. Shift your awareness and shift your energy. A simple, and profoundly useful moment to moment practice.

My desire is to expose you, experientially, to various healing/meditative modalities and techniques so that you can find a way that works for you to still your mind, self-soothe, heal, and practice returning to your natural state which is one of unconditional well-being (keywords: practice and unconditional).

When our mind is still, we have released all negative resistance or energy and are able to then align with pure Source energy. We didn’t come here to struggle. We came here to live our Truth. The reality is that we are ever-expanding, on the leading edge of creation, limitless, and can exist in a state of well-being, happiness, joy, even bliss...IF we want it.

Yogalchemy in a Nutshell and Guide on Ways to Practice it...

What Yogalchemy offers is a layered experience; a patchwork quilt of various therapeutic modalities: aromatherapy, Pranayama: breath exercises, sound-therapy, healing touch, guided meditation/visualization, TRE: Trauma Releasing Exercises, EFT: Emotional Freedom Technique, restorative/chakra-opening yoga poses, Kundalini Kriyas, affirmations, mudras, mantras in Sanskrit, etc etc...

Life with Purpose

While packing up for my move, I have been taking some time to sift through memorabilia. Revisiting things from my past brings up all kinds of emotions as I reminisce on the different stages in my life that have brought me to here and now.

Perhaps one of the only good things about moving is that you get the chance to rediscover things you've owned for years that got stashed away and in a sense vanished.

It's interesting to notice what it is that we choose to hold onto. For me, writing has always been one of life's simple pleasures. I can actually remember the first journal I got when I was either 5 or 6 years old. It was a Hello Kitty journal from the mall in Florida where I was living at that time. From a very early age, I relied on writing for refuge, understanding of myself (thoughts and feelings), and healing.

I went on to study Journalism in college with the intention of one day becoming a writer. It took me 15 years to finally build up the courage, confidence, and motivation to start doing something that my spirit has always been yearning for me to get back to.

I share this with you because I believe that discovering what you feel passionate about, what it is that makes you feel alive, is what actually gives you purpose and a reason to live. I feel grateful to have discovered two of the things I love that make me feel most alive, writing and counseling. In my sessions with clients, their first homework assignment is to buy a notebook and begin to journal about various things that come up in session. I tell them that I was once heard someone say that if you write something that is not true, every cell in your body feels it and sends you the message that you are not being truthful with yourself or accepting the truth about your situation. I encourage clients to write so that the therapeutic process can happen in and outside of my office.

When I was a junior in high school, I took a geography class with a man named Dr. Parks. It was definitely one of my favorite classes as I felt he was a really great teacher who felt very passionate about what he taught us. I owe some of my love for writing to him because he inspired me to write about things that mattered.

Each week he assigned us one question on world issues that we needed to answer in one page or less. The questions varied from, "What to do in order to help the homeless problem in America?" to "What I would do to help the worldwide AIDS crisis?" Here are two that I have chosen to share with you today which have to do with two things I feel very passionate about: Life and Education.

I hope you enjoy!

It's the Simple Things

Last Friday, while on my way out to Krause Springs, my next door neighbor texted me out of the blue to say that I needed to move my car from the driveway because they were going to be cutting the big tree next door. Luckily, I had an extra set of keys for her to move my car. When I got home from a relaxing day of swimming in the springs, I was shocked to see that what I thought would be a simple tree trimming, actually turned out to be a tree scarring.

The sight of the tree stump made my heart sink and my neighbor said it best when she said it hit her right in the heart chakra. As I stood there staring at the stump that felt like a scar, memories of the big ol' tree that shaded our driveway for the last 5 years came to mind and I couldn't help but feel sad that I hadn't ever taken a picture of the Australian Ash in all those years. The sun was now shining bright on the driveway and on our cars. The last thing my neighbor said was that at least our cars wouldn't always be covered in bird poop. She had a good point. We traded having a shaded, cool car for a now clean looking, steamy hot car to step into on these summer days.

I walked over to the stump to take the picture above and began to think about how having the tree right next door added so much more character to our duplex, making it a more pleasant and peaceful place to come home to each day. Throughout the seasons, the tree provided what we needed to stay mindful of the simple things. In winter, the leaves would all fall. In spring, the leaves would begin to grow again while the squirrels, birds, and cats enjoyed its revival. In summer, it gave us shade to cool down and during the fall, it stood bold as it swayed in the breeze. This tree did more than just stand there, it reminded us of life.

The irony is that in just one week, I will be moving out of this place that I've called home for 5 years because the universe has been whispering for me to make change. Just as I decide to leave, the universe decides it's time for the tree to go as well. Every time I think of packing up and leaving, I feel nostalgic because of the many memories I've made while living here.

Since moving here in 2010, the changes I have experienced internally have been transformational. I owe a lot of my healing and growth to the environment that this place has offered. Living next to Blunn Creek nature preserve, the jogs/walks past Saint Edwards University's beautiful campus, the hill that fills up with bluebonnets and wildflowers in the spring, the 90 year old man named Orville that I stop to visit with during my jogs who calls me Angel, my neighbor Linda who has been a wise and loving mentor for me, the fat cat named Sasha who stole my heart last summer during her brief stay in the hood, and the boys next door, Richard and Justin, who helped me to feel more safe knowing that they were just a stones throw away in case I ever got scared.

I share these personal details of my life because these are the common things that I have tried to feel gratitude for each day. For me, this is what life is about. When you appreciate the simple things, you begin to discover that happiness is and always was there, even when you were too distracted to notice and feel it. Staying mindful of the simple things that bring you joy makes it a life worth living.

What are the simple things in your world that help you to feel more connected and fulfilled?

The art of being happy lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things.

~Henry Ward Beecher - 1813-1887, Clergyman, Social Reformer, and Speaker

Just BE

Summertime for me has always felt like things just naturally seem to slow down. When I was a school counselor, the major plus of the job was having paid summers, time off, and the opportunity to travel to the places on my bucketlist.

Since leaving the school district in June of last year and starting to work as a counselor on my own to grow my practice, I have had to sacrifice two of the luxuries I appreciate most: taking adventures to explore new places during the summer and the extra time to do nothing.

One of my counselor colleagues once said something that stuck with me and reminded me of what it means to be a human being. She said, “Don't just do something, Sit there.” Most people particularly in the Western hemisphere, believe that if we are not doing something all of the time, then we are wasting time because we are not being productive.

During initial sessions with clients where we do mindfulness exercises to help them calm their racing thoughts and strengthen their focused attention, I discover that many of them are not able to do so because they cannot stop thinking about their to do lists or their agendas. This causes me to think about when and how our society got to this point of believing that if you are not doing, then you are nothing and more importantly, you are nobody.

As a high energy person, I recognize firsthand how difficult it can be to sit still in slience and do nothing. For this reason, I feel that meditation is a saving grace because even though you are just sitting still in silence, it is called a practice which actually makes it sound like something we are doing rather than what is actually happening which is the simple act of just being.

What if we were to call meditation Being instead? Even if you aren't a meditator or you've never tried meditation, you know how to just be because you know how to sit still and be silent (even if your inner voice is still talking to you). Today, I woke up and received the insight of the day written below which was what inspired me to write about why I think it's important to try Being just as often as we engage in Doing.

In my opinion, who you are is not necessarily determined by what you do; who you are is who you choose to be each and every day and the beauty in this is that it can change from moment to moment. You can be grateful or resentful. You can be honest or deceitful. You can be authentic or ungenuine. You can be present or disconnected. You can be joy or sadness. You can be love or fear. The awareness of ourselves and who we are happens when we are doing, but even more so when were are just Being.

In our need to be somebody, we often forget that we are somebody.

- Eric Micha’el Leventhal - Author

Love

This past weekend I went back to the city I grew up in to spend quality time with my family. Some family members no longer live in Texas so the days that we get to spend all together are few and far between.

It isn't always easy for families to get together and when they do it can be even less easy for everyone to get along. I think this is something that most people know as part of what comes along with having a mother, father, sisters, and brothers each with their own style, personality, way of thinking, and ways of acting.

One thing that seems to be common among most families is that no matter how extreme the feuds may be, there is an understanding that the people in our family feel love for us.

The manner in which love is shown by others can vary from being outwardly affectionate, helpful, considerate, communicative, and generous to simply saying the words “I love you” and believing that as long as we say these words out loud, that others will feel it.

In this year, I have learned that love has 3 ingredients- openness, curiosity, and acceptance. I interpret these ingredients in this way:

• Openness is when you are able to open your heart and let others in. It's allowing for others to get to know you at a deeper level. This means expressing your thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, along with your fears, disappointments, and failures.

• Curiosity is when you care enough to want to know more about someone else. You ask questions to get to know them better. You find out what makes them tick or what ticks them off and why. You are curious about their actions or inactions. The idea is to be curious because you care.

• Acceptance is when you decide that there is no longer a need for judgement or placing blame on others. You understand that each person is different because of background, upbringing, experiences, and perspective. Acceptance is when you are able to see someone for who they really are, try to understand why they are that way, and choose to accept them unconditionally.

What is most eye opening for me about the 3 ingredients is learning that they apply to loving yourself just as much as they apply to loving others. For instance, if you are going through a difficult experience in life and you stay open to why it's happening, get curious about your emotions, and practice self acceptance, it's possible you will feel more self-love in the process.

Love isn't just a feeling. Love is a choice and a commitment that involves action.The 3 ingredients require vulnerability, effort, and letting be. The next time you are with someone you love, think about whether or not you are practicing the 3 ingredients before you say the 3 words that make a person's heart melt, soften, and feel alive.

The Whole You

To be whole is to be complete and not lacking or leaving out any part. If someone were to ask you what makes you whole, what would you say? Would you answer something like:

• my partner makes me whole

• my career/business makes me whole

• my family or my children make me whole

• my friends  or my belongings make me whole

In reality, as much as we need others in our lives to feel happy and as much as we may need our work to give us a purpose to strive for each day, these are not the things that make us whole.

A whole person can be described as someone made of mind, body, and spirit. Another way to view being whole is to acknowledge that we are all made up of our experiences, our thoughts, our feelings, our bodily sensations, and our behaviors.

This topic of being whole comes up a lot in group due to many people who are suffering because of a failed relationship that at one point or another became unhealthy or dysfunctional. Often times, dysfunction (also known as malfunction) occurs when one person in a relationship starts to become completely dependent on the other to meet his/her needs. Particularly the emotional needs. For instance, “I cannot feel secure with myself unless you love me” or “If you do not accept me, then I am nothing or I am completely worthless”.

This is a pattern that begins to affect both people in the relationship because now one person's feelings, thoughts, and behaviors are based solely on the feelings, thoughts, and behaviors of someone else outside the Self. People become enmeshed with one another when their personal boundaries are unclear or when they have not yet discovered that their sense of wholeness depends on the relationship they have with their own self, not with anyone or anything.

Relationships are tricky. Becoming entangled with someone we care about and love to be around is one of the hardest traps to avoid falling into. Unfortunately, this enmeshment is what often begins to create the cycle of unhealthy beliefs, conflicts, and patterns that destroy the relationship and leave people feeling incomplete. Most people feel a sense of lacking which they think will go away as long as they have someone or something that will make them feel whole.

If the Whole you is made up of mind, body, spirit, and emotions, what are you doing to nurture these parts of yourself?

Regardless of whether or not you have someone else to depend on who adds to your daily fulfillment, remember that you are already whole just the way you are. Learn to love and nurture yourself so that your own health and happiness in life is mostly dependent on the one thing you can always count on no matter what, the Whole You.

Evolve

A few weeks ago, I was getting into my car after a yoga class and noticed the word EVOLVE painted on a wall with a man and woman dancing next to it. It was the first time I became aware that evolve had the word love in it.

This got me to thinking about how evolve and love relate to one another. My own definition of evolve is to grow, change or become better. Merriam-Webster's definition of evolve is to change or develop slowly often into a better, more complex, or more advanced state. How do you define evolve?

To evolve requires change and often times discomfort. Most people can be resistant to change because change is uncomfortable and no one likes to feel uncomfortable. What is it about being uncomfortable that frightens us all so much? Perhaps its because comfortable is easy and certain. To feel comfort is to feel safe and secure. Isn't that what we all want? To feel safe and secure in a world where things and life are easy and certain?

The way I see it, evolve and love relate to each other because you need one, to have the other. You need love in order to evolve. Love from others, love for others, and most importantly, love for Self. Without having others in our lives to love, and love and mirror us, its possible that we might never know who and how we really are and what things we might need to change in order grow into a better person. If we have no love for self, it's possible that we won't care about growing, changing or evolving into anything more than we already are.

By loving our Self, we are able to make choices that we know will help us to become a better version of who we want to be, what we want to do, and how we want to feel in our life. Self love is an ever evolving process that develops slowly over time through the struggles we endure, the maturity we gain, and the resonance we feel from practicing it.

How will you love in order to evolve?

Do What you Love and the Rest Will Follow

A few months ago during SXSW, I helped a friend of a friend find a space where she could talk to people about the business of dream catching. Karen Christensen is the Head Dreamcatcher of Dreamcatcher's District, which she refers to as a global tribe of creative change-makers that are living a life they love because they are doing work that matters to them.

Root&Connect is based on the belief that if you are able to connect with mind, body, spirit, and your emotions, you will feel more rooted (grounded) and you will be able to better connect with people and your community.

One of the things I talk about with individual clients and in group is the connection with spirit and what that truly means to me. The best way to describe how I see connecting to one's spirit is figuring out what it is that you are most passionate about, what lights your inner fire, and what makes YOU feel most alive.

I thoroughly enjoyed being present at the Dreamcatcher's District event where Karen spoke energetically in a way that motivated everyone in the room to think about what it meant to be in touch with what you really feel in order to know what it is you want to do or what you believe that you are meant to do. She asked us to write down what our limiting core belief was such as “What if others don't see the purpose of it?” and then invited us to rewrite it as a core belief without limits such as “Others WILL see its purpose and feel inspired.”

When an idea to do something comes to life in your mind, the options are: turn the idea into a creation (or a reality) and run with it until it comes to fruition or keep the idea as a thought until you are ready to turn it into something real. One of the ways that I think our spirit tries to connect with us is by replaying the thought of an idea or a desire over and over in our minds. The question is, are you present and in tune with yourself enough to be able to recognize that these thoughts just might be your spirit trying to guide you towards what it truly desires for you to do?

Dreamcatcher's District is sending a message out to the world that is loud and clear to us all- Make your dream a reality! When you realize that life is too short to live it doing something you have no interest, desire or passion to do, Dreamcatcher's District can help give you a jumpstart in making it actually happen. The key is learning to master your peak performance state otherwise known as 'flow' through discovering and then doing what it is that makes you feel satisfaction, fulfillment, integrity, engagement, meaning, and confidence.

Through her live events, privates, coaching, and meditation groups, Karen is creating a movement to help encourage people to find meaning and take risks by implementing daily routines and strategies that will smash their fear and motivate them to live out their truth, purpose, passion, and feel more connected with spirit. For me, this means living authentically and that is what life is all about.

Dreamcatcher's District invites you to say YES!  Smash Fear, Get Noticed, and Feel Free.

If you are ready to transform your life and catch your dream, visit www.dreamcatchersdistrict.com

Mindful walking

One of my favorite past times is to take mindful walks around my neighborhood. The difference between going on a walk vs. a mindful walk is what you do and what you focus your attention on while walking.

When clients initially come to see me for counseling, the first few sessions involve my talking about what mindfulness is about and why it helps to alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety. The quick explanation is that mindfulness is learning to have focused attention on one thing so that you are able to be more aware of what is happening in the present moment. You are now here vs. nowhere.

Mindful walking is my introduction into a mindfulness practice that clients can begin to engage in because it involves movement of the body which most people are already familiar with and comfortable doing. We all know how to walk. The difference is, can you walk with intention to be mindful of taking in all there is to experience and observe during a leisurely or sometimes more brisk walk outside?

During my mindful walks, I take pleasure in absorbing all there is to see with great detail and attention. I begin by connecting with my feet and feel them firmly planted on the earth. This connection allows me to feel steardy and strong as I move forward with ease and confidence that my focused attention will observe many beautiful things along my path.

Some days, I stick to the neighborhood streets where I encounter breathtaking trees that allow me to practice mindfulness as I hone in on the details of the different shapes and colors of their leaves. My attention also seeks out furry, friendly, and sometimes frisky cats because these animals make me feel happy and calm. Sometimes, I make it a point to zone in on small things that I may have missed during the other 20 times I passed by that exact same spot. Discovering new things is part of the fun!

It's amazing what you find and what meets the eye when you purposefully focus your attention in order to be mindful of all the wonderful things that nature provides and surrounds us with. On this particular day, I decided to take a mindful walk/hike in Blunn Creek because I am fortunate enough to live by this nature rich preserve that feels like another world altogether.

I invite you to begin taking mindful walks as your first step in mindfulness practices that will begin to change how you feel on the inside. See for yourself how focusing your attention on the beauty of life and nature will help you to be more present and NOW HERE. Walk on!

Softening

This is a word that is used a lot by my teachers during yoga practice. It comes out in different ways such as, “Where in your body can you soften?” or “As you take deep breaths in and out, notice where you can release tension and soften.” Whenever I hear the word soften, my mind will normally wander to a few places such as the image of something that feels soft and fluffy like clouds, a situation I can recall of a person being abrasive or the notion of what it means to soften my own self.

To soften is to make soft or softer; to undermine or reduce the strength, morale, or resistance of; or to make less harsh, strident, or critical. In relation to the body and spirit, I think softening has to do with being more receptive, open, gentle, and compassionate. We can even work to soften the relationship we have with our minds through positive self talk by choosing to talk with our own self in a more kind and loving manner.

Softening can also be when we learn to let go, when we no longer feel the need to control as much, when we pause before responding or reacting to something or someone or when we stop trying to force the outcome of things to meet our own expectations. In relationships with others, I think softening is when you know how to give and take, you genuinely try to understand where the other person is coming from, you care about meeting your partner's needs as much as you care about meeting your own, and you begin to live in a way where you no longer choose to stay hostage to the painful events from your past.

I believe that in order to soften, you may have to be willing to change certain things about yourself. In order to know what those things are, you may have to be willing to sit with uncomfortable feelings that you would rather ignore. You may have to sit with yourself long enough to get to know yourself, forgive yourself, accept yourself, and most importantly love yourself.

It has taken some time and reflection on softening to truly understand what it means to me. Through yoga, I discovered a word and found its meaning to be significant in my life both on and off the mat. When I am practicing yoga, my breath softens my mind, my muscles, and my soul which naturally results in softening my being and who I am out in the world.

How soft are you with others? How soft are you with your Self?

Can You Embrace Your Own Mind?

How often do people use cell phones as a way to connect with others in order to stay disconnected from their own feelings, thoughts, and ultimately their minds? Frequently, I hear people say that they don't want to be left alone with their own mind. The key word is alone (with thoughts). Thoughts are such a funny thing. That's exactly what they are...things. And yet we give them the power to control us in ways that make us feel discomfort, inadequacy, and fear.

Recently I heard that young girls are getting water proof cell phones so that they can text in the shower. I don't know about you, but I often do some of my best thinking in the shower. Sometimes I think to give gratitude for the day, sometimes I plan out my day, and lately, I've been practicing mindful showering. This is where you try to simply focus on the present moment and what is going on while you shower for instance: the way your hands feel as they massage your scalp, the way the water feels against your skin or how your hands feel as they wash and cleanse your body.

People that come to see me for counseling, to be heard, seem to feel safer talking about what goes on in their minds because they aren't alone. I often feel that my job is not only to help others get to feeling closer to the better version of themselves, but to also be mindfully present for what they so desperately need to share. Many times what they need to share is their core self that's clouded, fogged, distracted, anxious or confused by feelings that cause them to think 'things' which perturb their state of mind.

Be Here Now is a mantra that I've adopted most recently. Maybe it's because of the dedication I've been giving to practicing mindfulness in the last 6 years. The act of trying to stay mindful of what is going on in each moment. Whether I like it or not. It's what IS happening so I might as well accept and try to enjoy regardless of what my mind is telling me that I am lacking or that I have to have in order feel happy and calm.

This road of mind, (I mean mine) has led me to this place where my mind is no longer my enemy, it's my ally. I've learned to tame this soft and smooshy, delicate organ that once felt like a beast inside of me. It controlled my feelings, my actions, my perspective on life in a way that I was often times NOT comfortable with.

The beauty of this journey is that now I understand that the beast (the mind) is not a beast at all. The mind is simply a part of me that had to witness things during my most innocent childhood years; it witnessed moments and experiences that I didn't ask for. When I didn't know how to tame my mind, I felt lost and ridden with anxiety. This is what led me to seek a more mindful way of life. What I've learned is that mindfulness practices lead to mindful living which directly calms the mind and guides the core self to feeling more peace, awareness, and acceptance of what IS - the here and the now.

The ingredients to love are openness, curiosity, and acceptance. If love is what we all want to feel, then maybe we should start with mindfully practicing these 3 things with our own minds so that we are able to truly embrace this part of us without feeling afraid of it. For me, mindfulness is the sure way to begin embracing and loving your own mind. It is the way to being connected with your mind rather than running from it.

I invite you to put your phone down, close your eyes, and just be with your mind. No resistance, no fear, just openness, curiosity, and acceptance to the thoughts that arise.

Acceptance

What is your level of acceptance? How accepting are you of differences in opinions, in beliefs, in values, in socioeconomic status, and in the color of people's skin?

About a month ago, I noticed this graffiti with a strong message that inspired me to take a picture of it. The message brought up lots of emotions for me regarding the injustices that have been happening in the last few years that our advancements in technology have facilitated for us to witness taking place in different parts of the country we refer to as the land of the free and the home of the brave.

When I took this photo, flashes of Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown came to mind and here it is not even a month later where the South Carolina shooting of Walter Scott makes the message of this graffiti even louder, more unsettling, and very saddening. Its message also brings up major concerns not only on the racism that obviously continues to exist in America, but also the lack of attention and seriousness being given to mental health that human beings in all walks of life are desperately in need of.

During a discussion about the most recent situation in South Carolina, I brought up the graffiti picture I had taken and it was brought to my attention that someone had added a W to the No which resulted in changing the entire message of the art. This got me to thinking about how people are entitled to think what they want, to have their own perception of things, and that ignorance really can be bliss for those who choose to stay unaware or unaffected by what happens to human beings that exist outside of their life bubble.

The contradiction of the two messages relayed in the graffiti has gotten me to think more and more about what it must feel like to live as a black person in this country today despite all the changes that have come about since the African American Civil Rights Movement in the 1960's. Although it 'appears' as though America is the land of equality and freedom, I'm not so sure that any minority group and particularly black men believe this to be true.

My curiosity led me to want to talk with my colleague and friend who is a highly educated woman of color that is actively involved with a not-for-profit organization that consists of 12,000 professional women of color in 41 states, the District of Columbia and the Commonwealth of the Bahamas. This organization is one of the nation’s oldest and largest volunteer service organizations of extraordinary women who are committed to enriching, sustaining, and ensuring the culture and economic survival of African Americans and other persons of African ancestry. I wanted to know her perception and hear her thoughts on the controversy that continues to be publicized in the media since Trayvon Martin's death in 2012.

Her response was quite interesting. She said that she could share many stories about her and her own family's experiences with racism. One story she did share was about her son who is grown man living in New York, who has a higher education, and holds a good position in banking. She said that her son was wearing a nice suit and driving his nice car on his way to work when a policeman pulled him over for no apparent reason. When the policeman walked up to her son's car, he said, “Where you headed boy?” My friend's son responded that he was on his way to work and the policeman replied back to him, “Are you a drug dealer or a preacher?” What seemed most appalling about her story was that a police officer who holds this position of 'power' for the purpose of 'protecting the people' felt not only inclined to question my friend's son for no legitimate reason, but in the process was allowed to humiliate him in that way because he is an armed policeman that can do and say as he pleases.

In what way is this position of power that we give to police officers actually helping to 'protect and serve' humanity? And what if these people and police officers who are committing these brutal and unjust actions towards people (including adolescents) of color are not just racists, but also perhaps suffering from mental illness due to the amount of trauma and chaos that they are subject to regularly?

It's difficult for me to fully believe that the only reason that these horrific acts keep taking place is based solely on racism and the lack of acceptance that exists among people.

Acceptance is defined as the action or process of being received as adequate or suitable, typically to be admitted into a group. I think that there seems to be a strong need for acceptance of all the harmful realities taking place today which are affecting our existance and the world as a whole. Acceptance of: how we treat each other as people all doing their best to live and survive; how we treat ourselves and that includes our mind, our body, and our spirit; how we treat our own fear and other emotions that cause us to act in ways we feel aren't right; how we treat each other for having differences in religious beliefs; how we treat money; how we treat the homeless; how we treat mental health and those suffering from mental illnesses; how we treat the animals we eat; how we treat the animals going into extinction; and how we treat planet earth's lands and oceans.

What if it's possible to slowly create change for humanity through being more mindful and practicing the things that matter most to all human beings: awareness, security, love, kindness, empathy, compassion, understanding, respect, and most of all acceptance?

Hurt People, Hurt People

Have you ever thought about why people hurt one another? I would like to believe that most of the time, people are not hurting each other intentionally, but rather their own hurt is what causes them to say or do things that wound others.

Often times, people say or do things without thinking of how it's going to be perceived. Words or actions get misinterpreted and the result is someone feeling attacked, criticized, doubted or judged. Once the defenses go up, people may lose sight of what they are saying or how they are reacting and ultimately one or both parties end up hurt. Many times we get triggered by something that someone says or does without even fully understanding why we are internally having such a negative response.

During one of my group sessions, one of the members was talking about his ex-wife. He was sharing about the things she used to do in their marriage that led him to feel that she was crazy and why he asked for a divorce. He went on about her and then somewhere in the middle of his story, he casually slipped in the fact that she had grown up in a very dysfunctional home where her emotional needs were not met.

This got me to thinking about the vicious cycle of pain that gets passed down through generations. Our life circumstances and sometimes trying experiences throughout childhood, adolescence, and adulthood stick with us and mold us into who we are and how we choose to be in the world. Our triggers come from certain experiences we have with people who at one point or another said or did something that hurt us.

If our parent's parents did not get their emotional needs met, then it's probable that our parents may not have either. The chain continues and so we end up seeking to find a life partner that we think is going to fill the void that we so desperately crave to be filled because of what we needed and didn't get for various reasons earlier in our lives.

In essence, we are all human with similar emotional needs. Think about what your emotional needs might be. Do you need understanding, acknowledgement, respect, companionship, meaning, structure, passion, belonging, clarity, trust, encouragement or purpose?

The next time you find yourself feeling hurt by someone else, remember that 1) he/she may not have intentionally meant to hurt you and 2) he/she may be hurting as well. Instead of allowing yourself to get sucked into the trap of feeling hurt, getting defensive, and lashing out words that you will probably regret; focus on what you are really feeling, think about what it is that you need in that moment, and try asking for it.

I think that perhaps this is one way to stop the cycle of hurt people, hurting people.

Elevation

Little did I know how much of a treat yoga class at Yoga Vida would be today. I was happy to see that my instructor Kaley, had returned from being away 3 weeks assisting with the Africa Yoga Project's Seva Safari teacher training for disadvantaged youth. The intention of the training was to help create opportunities for yogis in South Africa to step into their greatness and become self-sustaining leaders in their communities.

Kaley's classes are known for being energized by the perfect balance of power and love that she radiates when teaching yoga. Today that balance of power and love was magnified with a special kind of energy that Kaley's presence brought into the room and for us during our practice. At the end of class when it was time for Shavasana (corpse pose), I felt relieved to finally lay down, relax, and rejuvenate my body, mind, and spirit.

With awareness of my chest and abdomen rising and falling with each breath, Kaley began to share these words, “I have always thought that Guru was a word to describe someone who brings forth light, but recently I met a woman in Africa who said that to her Guru meant remover of darkness. For me, this is like yoga. Yoga works to peel off and remove layers of energy so that we are able to tap into our deepest self, where we hold our light and our truth. The exhales remove the darkness and the inhales embody the light.”

She then asked us to imagine that our breath was a color and to then visualize sending this breath out to Texas, the 50 states, and all across the world. She stated that sending this breath out into the world had the potential to heal, create oneness, and even change things on a more global level. Engaging in this mindful exercise, I immediately felt a sense of love, power, unity, and spirit pour over me and when opening my eyes, I felt tears streaming down my sweaty face.

What came next was an incredible sense of warmth and peace as I continued to soak in Shavasana while feeling amazing gratitude for being led to her class today. Kaley pleasantly surprised me as I felt her sharing her Africa experience with all of us in that moment on a spiritual level. She was able to bring in the growth and love she experienced into our NOW to help transform our day and our understanding of the power of breath.

This is one of the many reasons that I love and practice yoga. For me, it's about rooting in the now, and staying connected to my breath and body in order to feel optimal emotional and mental well-being. Thank you for sharing your NOW Kaley!

N othing

O ther than

W hat is happening in this moment

What Do You See?

Since getting into the business of teaching people what mindfulness is about and using mindfulness techniques to help my clients, I have become much more intrigued by the sense of sight. You see (no pun intended), one of the ways to be mindful is to have focused attention on one thing and when we focus, we mostly use our brain and our eyes.

The eyes have been called the window to the soul. Lately, I have been thinking about how our eyes should be called the guardians of the mind because what we choose to look at and pay attention to determines much of what we think about. For instance, if I am surrounded by the ocean, beautiful mountains, and lush green, then chances are that my mind is going to be in a more relaxed state, but if I spend most of my time watching horror films where there is a lot of violence, then my mind will more than likely go to darker places causing me to feel more on edge, afraid or even paranoid.

There is something to be said for all of the technology that our eyes spend a large percentage of our time focusing on these days. Studies show that the use of screens cause people to blink less, strain their focus, and even hold their breath longer. One suggested solution has been termed the three B's approach: Blink, breathe, and break. This is to help you become more conscious of blinking more often, taking deep breaths, and breaking away from the intense concentration to reduce eye strain and improve overall health.

Now imagine being a person that cannot see. Who are the guardians of their mind?

During a yoga class a few weeks ago, my teacher told us about a new iPhone app called Be My Eyes.  It's an app that connects the blind with volunteer helpers from around the world via live video chat. When this was brought to my attention, the first thing I thought was that blind people practice mindfulness each and everyday and not necessarily by choice, but more as a means for survival. They use the other senses we have that most of us with eyesight take for granted- smell, hear, taste, touch, and the ones I like to add- extrasensory perception (esp) and intuition.

For those of us who do have all of our senses and are reading this now, be mindful of the ways in which you can begin to access all of the senses at any point in time to help you feel more connected to the moment. Also, feel gratitude for the eyes you have to see, to focus on what is right in front of you, and allow for them to be the guardians of your mind.

When you take the time to really look, you may gain a new appreciation for things and truly begin to see the beauty in all that surrounds you.

ForGive

Lately, I have been pondering what it really means to forgive, why there is a driving force within us that struggles with whether or not we can forgive others, and most importantly the difficulty that most of us have with forgiving our own self.

Most recently, it dawned on me that perhaps we call it ForGive as a way of saying: For others and self, Give understanding. And in order for us to better understand, it takes having the ability to feel empathy for what another is experiencing and feeling by putting ourselves in their shoes.

As a counselor for groups of people who have been accused of domestic violence, this topic of forgiveness comes up often because either 1. these men are working through how to forgive their partners for instigating them towards a certain level of aggression or 2. these men are working through how to forgive themselves for the actions they chose to take during a heated moment of conflict.

The act of forgiveness has changed shape in my own life as I have learned to interpret it as a means to freedom and liberation from things that weigh me down and cause me to be less kind and gentle towards myself which directly influences me to be less kind and gentle towards others. I will never forget the day (many years ago) that a good friend of mine said two simple words that created an internal shift within me and changed how I felt about myself and the things that had occurred in my past that caused me to beat myself up. He said, “Forgive yourself” and just like that, there was deeper understanding of my own pain.

If and when you contemplate how you could ever forgive someone else for the hurt they caused you, remember to keep in mind the truth that we are all human. We all make mistakes. We all suffer and we all hurt at one time or another. What we all need and want from each other is understanding and the way to get there is through love and empathy.

To practice true empathy imagine slipping out of your own shoes to slip into those of another. Try to sink into a higher level of awareness that realizes this: Often what we do and what others do is the sum of past experiences plus choices we make and sometimes those choices end up hurting either ourselves or someone else. This is called being human.

Here are some quotes I like on forgiveness:

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” ~Jesus

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” ~Oscar Wilde -Writer and Poet

"Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you." ~Steve Maraboli

“Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” ~Joan Lunden –Journalist and Author

 

Talk it Out

Most people feel that talking is overrated. Let it go we think to ourselves. Why rock the boat? Avoid confrontation at all cost.

It’s always so much easier to brush things under the rug because in the moment that something comes up that creates a feeling we don’t like, we are afraid that if we say something, it may come out wrong, we may hurt someone’s feelings or even worse, we may be misperceived…misunderstood. No one likes to feel misunderstood.

In this day and age, when the majority of our communication happens electronically, it seems as though we are becoming less comfortable with talking and too comfortable with throwing out words through text and email. These words get misconstrued which leads to misunderstanding, disconnection, and conflict.

When your heart (and body) feels a certain emotion that doesn’t sit well with you, don’t avoid talking about it for fear of confrontation. Confrontation is defined as a hostile or argumentative meeting or situation between opposing parties. In my groups, I share a new way to define the word. To confront is to bring something to the forefront and out into the open for two people to listen to each other, feel heard, acknowledged, and most importantly to talk it out. The truth is that when it's important, it's worth opening your mouth for.

Why hold onto things that create resentment and begin to feel toxic in your mind and body? Instead try to:

Trust that others will listen to what you have to say

Acknowledge/Accept how you feel

Let others share how they feel and really listen to them

Know that you will feel better because you have shared your thoughts and feelings

 

Living with a Monkey Mind?

Monkey mind is a Buddhist term meaning indecisive, unsettled, restless, confused, and uncontrollable. It's a term to describe a mind full of racing thoughts that look much like monkeys who are aimlessly swinging from branch to branch.

If this is the way we live our day to day, it's no wonder that so many people talk about feeling exhausted, scattered, and out of focus. People actually believe that they cannot control their mind because they don't know how to and this causes them worry, anxiety, irritability, and sometimes pain. Depending on our life circumstance, this monkey mind can lead us to feeling out of control and unable to make decisions with confidence and clarity.

Much of my work as a counselor is to help others understand that they do have the power to control thoughts through mindfulness practices that help them train the brain and regain focus. The simplest practice to tame the mind is to connect with breath because when you are breathing deeply, thoughts stop, and monkey mind is no longer able to hijack you.

Another way to explain monkey mind is describing a comic strip drawing I once saw of a woman  walking a brain she has on a leash. Envision this and think of the power of your mind in a new way. We DO have the ability to get a handle on our minds by noticing what thoughts come up and deciding how much we will let ourselves be affected by them.

Will you in engage with and entertain every single thought that comes up?

The choice is yours: You can keep swinging aimlessly from branch to branch (thought to thought) or you can stop, breathe, become present enough to focus your attention on what is happening right in front of you, and calm that monkey mind once and for all.

Stand for One Thing, Don't Fall for Everything

During yoga class this morning at Yoga Vida, our instructor was having us move in a steady flow until we got to the balancing poses. The first he called out was tree which is one I love for obvious reasons since I am a huge tree lover. As he guided us on how to achieve tree pose, he said something very wise (as he does quite often) that inspired me to want to write about it.

He said, “Stand for one thing, don't fall for everything.” What first came to mind was youth, and how we have a tendency in our youth to not know ourselves as well and as a result not really know what it is that we actually want.

He then said something along the lines of, “if we don't know what it is that we want to stand for, then we often times end up falling for everything or anything or the wrong thing.” What then came to mind was values, and how if we don't really know what it is that we value, we can often times get mixed up with people or end up in places that have nothing to do with what our core self truly desires.

In the last few years, I have been working on trying to get more in touch with myself to really figure out who I am, what it is that I really want out of life, what my values are, and what it is that I stand for. By learning how to root and connect, these things have become much more clear. Thankfully!

The topic of values is one that I introduce to my clients in group. During discussion, I have them list their top 5 values and then ask them to reflect on whether or not their current life choices match up with their list. Some faces light up as though they have discovered the reason for or the solution to their life's problems while other faces look disappointed about their lack of discernment.

Have you ever taken the time to sit down and list your top 5 values or even just your number 1 value?

If not, I encourage you to as way of getting more in touch with what it is you truly stand for. I'll go ahead and share mine to help you get started:

• Truth

• Faith

• Connection/Understanding

• Love for self and others (this includes self care and having compassion towards self)

• Adventure