This is one of my favorite things to talk about because I truly feel passionate about exploring the Self.
Our Self is dynamic and complex even when we want to keep it simple.
Think of the practices we hear about and/or try to understand so that we are able to form a different kind of relationship with our self. I like to imagine that they unfold in this kind of order where one practice morphs into the next. This natural flow of our development occurs so that we can learn how to live feeling better about our self as we wade through life.
self control
self discipline
self awareness
self care
self love
self acceptance
self worth
self empowerment
Ultimately, these practices serve as a barometer to measure how we feel about ourselves and the way we choose to engage with people, places, and things.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a specific form of therapy that I use with clients to help them better understand themselves and why they operate the way they do.
The IFS theory is that each person is a system made up of parts which dictate how we relate with our own self, our relationships, and daily living. Inside each of us is a family of parts influencing what we place our focus on, how we respond to situations, and how we manage to keep our system functioning, safe, and alive.
The part I like best about IFS is the belief that we are all born with a Core Self and when we allow ourselves to be led by this Core Self, we engage in ways that help us to feel whole, happy, and fulfilled.
When we are living from our Core Self, we are BEING and FEELING these ways:
CURIOUS
CALM
CENTERED
CONFIDENT
CONNECTED
COURAGEOUS
COMPASSION
CLARITY
CREATIVE
Lately, I have been encouraging my clients to make their own list of the Core Self values to put them somewhere visible so they can begin the practice of trying to incorporate these ways of being and feeling into their daily life.
Can you imagine what the world would be like if we CHOSE to wake up everyday telling our self that we will relate with our own self and engage with whatever comes our way from a place of:
calmness, curiosity, feeling centered, willing to connect, offering compassion, having courage and clarity, feeling confident and being creative?
I believe that these core self values could be the solution to much of the suffering that happens in the world. Practicing them could be a revolutionary way to teach our children what to focus on and ways they can strive to be and feel on a daily basis.
When it comes to the relationship with myself and with others, I know that the more I practice these core self values, the better I feel as a person.
This is an invitation to start today right where you are. Print out this list or write these core values down in your own personal handwriting. Put them on the fridge, share them with your kids, partners, friends, family, and coworkers.
Begin by telling yourself: 'For today, I will try to practice being and feeling: calm, curious, centered, connected, compassionate, courageous, clear, confident and creative.